Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I can't turn off my feet"
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize