I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize