Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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