Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
