Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
