they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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