I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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