I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My vagina is officially offended.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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