Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
