when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
