..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
