Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
