On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize