Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
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Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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