i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
