does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
