just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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