dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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