Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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