How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
