i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
