Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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