What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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