im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
