I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
