Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
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he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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