I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
