i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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