I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
So many bounce houses so little time
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
