Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just pee around me
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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