so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The best revenge is premature balding
I love having hate sex.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Randomize
