It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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