Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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