Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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