Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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