I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
