I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
My feet surprised me
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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