Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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