I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
