Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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