just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Acid is not a monday night drug
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
