yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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