she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
