is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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