Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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