and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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