So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
