Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You made out with two different species that night
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
