Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
