the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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