i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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