Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
