you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
