Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
