This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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