I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
