His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
